Do It For The Fans!
by Winters-Feather
Summary: When a  fanFiction writer finds out that the next season of Merlin is being pushed back to 2012, he goes to dramatic lengths to raise awareness for a protest...Only, Merlin and Arthur aren't as eager. How does one write Slash, anyway?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well, I figured every fan fic author has to have some sort of Slash fic in their repertoire…Based off of an AIM conversation with Jissai. **

**DISCLAIMER: If you write slash and this offends you, I'm sorry. I'm only poking fun of Slash fic in general. I do not know if anyone named Jazzy-Otaku123 actually exists on this site; it was just some generic name that I came up with on a whim. **

**Enjoy :3**

**Do It for the Fans**

Part 1

Merlin woke up to find himself in Arthur's bed. He quickly noticed that he was, well…under dressed. Completely. Alarmed, the boy quickly pulled up the covers to hide his 'wand' as he gave a loud shout.

"Oh, good, you're finally awake," the prince blandly replied, whom Merlin quickly noticed, was sitting right next to him.

"What do you mean?" Merlin challenged, when he noticed Arthur's nudity. He turned his head away, disgusted.

"Oh, god," he exclaimed as he shut his eyes , tight, "Gross! I didn't need to see that. Put your clothes back on…"

Merlin moaned. His head hurt, he was in Arthur's bed, he was naked, the prince was naked, and he didn't remember anything unusual happening prior. Was this some sort of sick punishment?

"I can't find them," Arthur replied.

Merlin noted the dull quality of his voice, as if something serious, besides the obvious, was bothering him.

"Oh, come on. I put them where I usually do," Merlin replied, staring intensely at the floor.

"I don't think it's your fault," Arthur said, which shocked Merlin.

_Not his fault? _This was serious.

"Say that again?" Merlin asked.

Arthur rolled his eyes at Merlin's obvious smugness.

"I don't think it's your fault, _Merlin, _because I know that though you're lacking some things in that thick head of yours, you're not mentally disturbed. Which someone has to be, to lock us in the room without our clothing. I can't even find my sword, for crying out loud."

Merlin listened, quietly, looking around the room. He instantly sensed the strong aura that surrounded it. Something wasn't right and was preventing them from leaving Arthur's bed chamber. Arthur continued ranting, scratching the back of his head as he spoke.

"I've tried _everything_, but the door won't budge. Even the glass from the window won't break."

"Maybe you're just getting weaker," Merlin bantered, half heartedly, his eyes falling onto a piece of paper that laid under his pillow.

"Merlin…" Arthur replied, his tone testy.

He boldly swung his head around to find Merlin reading it with a troubled expression on his face.

"What is it?" he asked.

When Merlin didn't answer, he tried again.

"Merlin," he practically bellowed, "I _demand_ that you read whatever is on that stupid piece of paper at once!"

"D-dear Prince Arthur and Merlin," Merlin slowly read, "My name is Jazzy dash Oh-Take-You One, Two, Three. It has come to my attention that your show's season four has been postponed until two thousand and twelve. Now, me and all your other fans can't simply wait that long until seeing you two on your adventures, again. I figured that, as a way of protest, I could write this fan fiction in which you two …"

Merlin paused, making a face.

"Oh, this is just unfair," he said, shoving the letter to Arthur, "You read it. I can't anymore. This is sick…"

Arthur accepted the letter with a grim sigh, his eyes quickly scanning the paper.

"Dear Prince, yaddi yaddi yah," he muttered.

Suddenly, his eyes narrowed. His face blanched.

"In which you two have sex in order to raise awareness and potentially boost your show's ratings as well as boosting its next season's premiere this year," he whispered.

"I know I'm a young virgin, so I don't know much…," Merlin hoarsely continued, reciting from memory.

"But I know you two can do it and make it spectacular," Arthur spat, "Your loving writer, Jazzy."

"There's something else at the bottom," Merlin added, glumly.

"P.S. It's your only way to get out of this room and to get everything back to normal. Lubricants are in the night drawer?" Arthur read.

Enraged, Arthur proceeded to tear up the piece of paper.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked, watching as the prince gritted his teeth as he viciously attacked the letter.

His companion didn't respond, but proceeded to rip up the paper, muttering insults and threats.

A piece of paper, seemingly out of nowhere, floated down from the ceiling. Arthur, too distracted coming up with clever ways on how to kill his invisible tormenter, did not see it, so Merlin swiftly caught it.

_Nice try_, it read, _But I'm serious. Do it for the fans! – Jazzy_

"Arthur," Merlin said.

"Not now, Merlin," a miserable Arthur snapped, running a hand through his golden hair.

"Sire," Merlin replied, holding out the piece of paper in the prince's direction, "Read this."

"What?" Arthur asked, snatching the paper as he looked around the room, "Where'd you get that?"  
>"The ceiling," Merlin replied, bewildered.<p>

Arthur groaned, and positioned himself so that he was face flat in his bed.

"This is just _great_," he muttered, "I will have you know that I absolutely refuse to touch you in that…dishonorable sort of way."

"Yeah, I don't fancy doin' it with you, myself," Merlin asked, "How is that even possible any…._Oh."_

"Aren't you the bright one," Arthur spat, with a sigh, "Look , maybe if we just wait, this…Jazzy will get bored and decide to let us go."

Merlin eagerly agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **

**Warning: Smut.**

**Warning #3: This was written with the help and encouragement of Jissai. Sounds sketchy, don't it?**

**Warning #2 : This was written to make fun of smut, so don't get your hopes up. Pervs. **

**Warning #4: Goddamn, I can't count. Anyway, the second and final installment of "Do it For The Fans!" is about to start. I'm sorry it took so long to get to. Thanks for reading! :D**

Part 2

The boys waited.

And waited.

And waited.

The prince and his manservant's anxiety quickly turned into boredom. It was an odd sort of boredom, the type where you're always on edge, always silently anticipating your enemies next movie, yet at the same time, there was nothing to do. At first, Arthur had insisted they were both somewhat decent. This meant ripping apart one of the silk bed sheets in half so that both boys could wear them around their waists.

"Like a skirt?" Merlin asked with a smirk.

Arthur narrowed his eyes as he feverishly wrapped his portion around his waist.

"It's _not_ a skirt," the prince growled as he shoved Merlin's portion into his man servant's arms.

"It is a wrap so that we may at least plan our escape with some dignity."

"Still a skirt," Merlin muttered, though he gave a broad, sheepish grin at Arthur's glare.

"Of course," he added in a voice that was a little too loud, "It's real soft material. Quite comfortable, honestly."

"Good," replied Arthur as he awkwardly tucked the corner of the remanding material into his side so that it would stay in place. He shook his head as he watch Merlin fumble with his. He let out a lone cough.

"Let me help," he said, reaching out towards his companion.

Merlin gave him a suspicious glare, taking a step backwards.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm trying to_ help_, Merlin," Arthur snapped.

_Is it really this unusual? _The prince thought .

Merlin shook his head, muttering an excuse as he tried to keep one edge wrapped around him while he brought around the other edge with extreme difficultly. Arthur, having no patience at this point, took several strides forward and immediately took command of the cloth.

"Keep the other end in place," he instructed as he skillfully brought around the remainder of the cloth and tucking it into the other layers by his servant's hip. He was careful not to touch any skin.

"Not too tight is it?" he asked.  
>"No," replied Merlin.<p>

An awkward silence ensued. Suddenly feeling claustrophobic, Arthur clapped his hands and rubbed them together, looking around the room.

"Okay," he said with a sigh, "This waiting thing clearly isn't working…"

He looked up towards the ceiling.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered before cupping his hands around his mouth.

"Lady Jazzy!" he called out.

"What if Jazzy's a man?" Merlin asked.

Arthur gave him an annoyed and weary glance.

"Don't you _dare_ go there," he threatened before looking up towards the ceiling again.

"Look…Lady Jazzy," he began, again, "This all must be some sort of misunderstanding. I'm sure we can find some other _suitable _solution to this…problem of yours. What do you say?"

To add to the effect, Arthur gave what he hoped was a charming smile.

Nothing happened. Arthur huffed and threw his arms up in the air.

"Great!" he exclaimed, running his hands through his hair, "That went _well_…"

The prince continued to rant, but Merlin ignored his drama. Instead, he seemed to be transfixed onto the author's original message, troubled. He read over again in a soft voice, causing Arther to throw a bigger fit.

"Would you cut that out!" he bellowed.

"We're just copies," Merlin replied in a hollow voice.

The prince glowered.

"We're _what_?"

"Copies," Merlin repeated, pointing at the note. Arthur snatched it out of his hands.  
>"Jazzy said that we're originally from somewhere else, a show," Merlin said, "but then they wrote a fan fiction, which we are in, now."<p>

"Go on," Arthur replied, his brow knitting together in anticipation.

"Well," Merlin said, slowly, "Jazzy said she- or he – wrote this, wrote _us_."

Arthur's eyes lit up in panic.

"So, you're saying that we're imitations of _ourselves_?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes," Merlin replied, lowering his voice, "Though I'm not too sure…"  
>Arthur let out a hoarse laugh.<p>

"That settles it then!" he exclaimed, "We're not ourselves; therefore, it isn't our problem! Let's get out of here…"  
>"That's the thing," Merlin pointed out, "I don't think Jazzy wrote an 'out of here'."<p>

"Oh, Merlin! When will this 'Jazzy' talk cease!" Arthur roared, "You make it out as if they're God…Ow!"

Arthur rubbed the back of his head, dumbfounded.

"Something hit me," he muttered, looking around the room, "What…"  
>"There!" Merlin said, scrambling for a crumbled up piece of paper, "Another note."<br>Arthur sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Read it," he replied, defeated.

Merlin remained silent for a few moments as he read over the note several times.

"She said we had to," he whispered.

Arthur rolled his eyes and read the note over Merlin' s shoulder.

"'Bonus points of we look like we're enjoying ourselves?' This person is insane!" Arthur cried, cradling his face in his hands.

All was still. While Arthur was wallowing, Merlin turned his back to the prince and tried to use magic. He turned towards the door.

"Allinan," he whispered.

Nothing.

"Alysan duru ronne!"

The door remained still.

"Tospringe!" he shouted in frustration.

"What?" asked Arthur, giving Merlin a bewildered look.

"Uh, that is," replied the man servant, dumbly, his attention turning to and fro the prince and the still unhinged door.

"Too springy. This bed is surprisingly bouncy," replied a cheerful Merlin, giving it a good bounce.

Arthur shoved him so hard that he fell to his side.  
>"Idiot," he muttered.<p>

"It's more comfortable than the one I have at Giaus' place," Merlin retorted, embarrassed by his previous display of lameness.

"It's not _your_ bed, Merlin," Arthur said, "It's the other…Merlin…"  
>The prince stopped, glancing over at his companion, thoughtfully.<p>

"What?" asked the wary warlock.

Arthur shifted in place, uncomfortably.

"Well, it's just," he said, "If we're not …ourselves, then anything we do…"

"Oh," replied Merlin, his eyes widening, "No, nope! That's absolutely gross! Totally uncalled for…"

He jumped out of the bed and bolted towards the door.

"I liked that negotiating idea of yours a bit better," the youth said.

"So did I," agreed Arthur, who was now slowly getting up, "but it's clearly getting us nowhere."

"But-!" started to protest Merlin, but Arthur quietly pointed to the bed.

"You. Face down. Now," grimly ordered the prince.

"Why do _you_ get to do it?" Merlin couldn't help but to whine.

Arthur arched an eyebrow, horrified. Merlin shook his head vigorously.

"That's not what I meant! Ew, no!" he shouted.

Now, if Merlin had any doubt in his mind that he was just a figment of some lunatic's imagination, it was all gone after what Arthur said next.

"_Please_, Merlin," the prince whispered, his eyes pleading for cooperation.

"I don't want to do this anymore than you do, but if it means our freedom…"

Merlin glared at Arther.

"I really don't think this is a good idea," Merlin pointed out.

"I know," replied Arther, silently patting the bed.

"They'll never know," said Merlin.

He didn't have to point out who 'they' were.

"Hopefully," said the prince.

Merlin frowned.

"You sure?" he asked.

He was retorted with a look that made him practically sprint towards the bed.

"Good," said Arther with a sigh, gesturing for Merlin to join him and be quick about it, damn it.

"Why?" Merlin asked.

"It'll just make this harder!" the prince snapped, turning into an interesting shade of red.

Merlin was dumbstruck.

"Oh," he lamely replied, quietly heading towards the bed.

The boy laid face down, prepared for the worst. He couldn't see anything – his eyes were closed- but he could hear the opening and closing of a drawer. He heard the rustling of a bed sheet being pulled down and of a bottle being opened.

_I __**hate**__ fan-writers, _Merlin grimly thought.

The prince coughed.

"What?" his man servant moaned.

"I'm not taking your wrap off of you," the prince replied.

"My _skirt_," Merlin grumbled as he began to sat up, his eyes tightly shut.

"Don't look!" Arthur warned.

"I'm not looking!" Merlin protested.

He didn't get a reply, but the servant suspected that the dimwit had nodded.

Then it began.

It hurt rather badly. Merlin screamed.

"I-I'm sorry," Arthur stuttered, going a bit more gently.

Merlin could feel the prince bend over his body, his breath hot on the man servant's ear.

"Act like you're _enjoying_ yourself," Arthur hissed.

"Oh, yeah! Sure!" Merlin cried sarcastically, clutching his pillow.

"I'm really enjoying this, Jazzy! I'm having…a lot...of… _fun_…Agggh!"

Merlin groaned as the prince was going _deeper_. Why the hell did he wanted to do that?

"That's the spirit, Merlin," Arthur grunted as he started to go a little faster. Merlin cried again, but not totally out of pain. To his horror, he was starting to _enjoy_….

"Nope, that's it," the boy cried, "I've had it!"

He shot his eyes wide open and squirmed himself away from Arthur. The boy dramatically turned around to find a sweaty and furious Arthur frantically covering his 'sword' with the bed sheets.

"What was that for?" he roared.

Merlin panted as he grabbed the prince by the shoulders.

"My turn," he said with such determination that Arthur obliged out of shock.

"You know," he commented a minute or so into it to the sulking prince, "This actually isn't that –"

Shouting erupted from beyond the door, which creaked open to reveal whom Merlin suspected were the actual versions of themselves.

"Bad," he whispered.

As the fan fiction Arthur and Merlin scrambled to put on their clothes, the actual Arthur smacked his Merlin hard outside the skull.

"OW!" cried the real Merlin, "What the hell was _that_ for?"

"For being inside of me!" the real Arthur shouted, turning around and shielding his eyes.

The real Merlin scowled.

"It's not MY fault!" he shouted back in a very frustrated manner before tossing Arthur and Merlin individual sacks.

The naked boys quickly scrambled for the bags, delighted to find that their clothes were in them.

The real Merlin watched the two in mild disgust before turning around, proclaiming how gross the two were in detail.

"Would you shut up!" both Arthurs cried, causing Merlin to snigger as he pulled his trousers up.

There was a brief silence as the real versions closed the door behind them to allow the copies to dress. Finally, as Arthur adjusted his cuffs and Merlin his bandana, the two approached the door and knocked it, trying not to limp or look at each other.

The two could hear the real Merlin frantically whisper about something as the door opened.

"Oh, good," the real Arthur said in a false cheery voice, looking his copy square in the eye.

"You're _done_."

"Yes," Arthur meekly replied, giving a cough. He pointed at them both.

"So you two are here to, um, rescue us?"

"Yup," the real Arthur replied, "Came right on time, didn't we?"

Merlin stifled a laugh as Arthur remained silent. He could tell the prince wasn't used to being spoken to this way, and he was enjoying it. He stopped when he noticed the real Merlin was staring at him in such a way that made him feel very, very uncomfortable and equally ashamed.

"He did it first," he muttered in his defense, bowing his head.

The real Arthur nodded, clearly pissed as he observed the shamed fan fiction versions of him and his manservant.

"The Lord Jazzy Otaku One-Two-Three sent us to fetch you two," he said after a while, beginning to walk down the hall, away from the bedroom. The real Merlin and the fan fiction versions followed suit.

"Really?" Merlin asked, suspicious.

"Yeah," the real Arthur replied, perplexed, "He said you two were being absolutely no fun at all and that the season premiere just might end up airing sooner, after all, so you're off the hook."

The fan fiction versions were stunned. Their eyes were wide and their mouths were partly opened as they tried to force the right words out but to no avail.

The real Merlin shook his head, still trying to get over what he had just saw in the bedroom.

"Unbelievable," he muttered.

**The End**

**A/N: And that's it. Yey~ Hope you enjoyed it. Is there another couple I should bash, with or without the smexing? Let me know, please. Honestly, this was the hardest thing for me to write…Mainly because the smut is kinda unnatural to their (actual) characters XD Another thing…I don't actually know when the premiere will air, but I was told it might occur sooner than 2012, though that's probably only in the UK. Regardless, I'll be getting back to Death and something else (I won't tell ya, yet!) pretty soon so…Until then! **


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